she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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