Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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