Swine flu. Run for my life!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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