You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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