they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
two words...techno handjob
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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