One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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