Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
When did angry sex become our thing?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
