i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
