Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
