Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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