Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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