what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He? As in you personified your dick?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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