No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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