Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
