So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
