I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
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