IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
