We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
