No stitches, just platelets and will power
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
