I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
