Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
