I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You've changed since you got that strap on
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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