need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
