3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
