no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
