dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I FOUND THE LEGS
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
