It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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