perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
