Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
