you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
