i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
