there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
