I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
