"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
