Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
