oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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