i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Do vagina's smell?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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