Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
