I'm sorry my penis didn't work
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
