Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
