i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
