Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
