He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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