If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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