Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
everyone is single if you try hard enough
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You are a genius and a whore.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
