I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
