Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm too high and old for this...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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