are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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