reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
