You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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