shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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