Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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