No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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